Sin in Relationships | The Pursuit of Repentance
In the previous post in this series, we look at the start of owning our sin through Apology. Apologizing starts the process of being able to turn from our sins. Yet, it is only the first step. Finding the restoration from our sins will require repentance from our sins rather than a simple apology. We can apologize as often as possible and still miss the freedom that comes from finally becoming free from our sins. At its core, sin destroys relationships, first between God and us and then between us and others. Repentance takes the next step of moving forward from apology and stepping into the abundant life that God has set apart for us.
Now when he heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew into Galilee. And leaving Nazareth he went and lived in Capernaum by the sea, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles— the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.” From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 4:12-17)
At its core, repentance involves a change in direction from one way to another. It involves understanding the direction we are going in, which only leads to destruction, and actively turning and going in the opposite direction. From a spiritual perspective, this repentance means we understand that sin in our relationships comes from being rooted in the Kingdom of the Earth, stopping, and turning towards the Kingdom of Heaven. Repenting, even in relationships, involves actively and intentionally changing direction to one that aligns with God’s ways for our lives.
The Spiritual Repentance to The Lord
Jesus often spoke of the difference between the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of the Earth. With the message of Jesus Christ being repent and turn to the Kingdom of Heaven, we turn our back on the Kingdom of the Earth. Repentance turns our back on the practices of the world so that we can fix our eyes on Jesus. Repentance acknowledges the error in our sin as primarily against God and how He designs life to function. Then, it realigns our will and our direction according to the goodness of God. Repentance trusts that God’s ways are better than our own and that He desires our well-being. We repent by bringing our sin, nailing it firmly to the cross of Christ, dying to ourselves, and coming alive to the life that God has set apart for us to live.
The comforting part comes with the faithfulness of God in our repentance. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, ESV) When we repent to the Lord, we trust in the faithfulness and justice of God to not cast us aside. God is faithful in that He remains with us despite our own personal unfaithfulness. God is just in that He pays our debt by the fully sufficient sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross, and God will not punish the same sin twice. Thus, our sin is not the end of us but an opportunity to display the glory and goodness of God through our repentance. We have a way to the Kingdom of Heaven that has been secured by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross so that we can repent and approach the Father, knowing the Son has paid for our sins and the Spirit dwells within us.
Repenting in Relationships
As we have stated time and time again, sin strains relationships. Repairing that relationship first involves apology but continues onward to repentance. Every relationship takes work to maintain. Work relationships. Friendships. Dating. Marriage. Every relationship puts in the effort at a personal cost to protect the love between them. “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10, ESV) We cannot simply hurt one another repeatedly, hiding behind an apology. Instead, we must strive to show honor to the other in the relationship. We deal with the root cause of our offense against the other individual. In our relationships, we correct ourselves so that God’s love flows through us to others, even in how we treat those we have hurt.
Here is where the scary part comes into play. As the one repenting, you understand that you bear the responsibility for the brokenness of the relationship. Since forgiveness is an unrelated process to repentance, you approach this with the understanding that whether or not the offended party forgives you is out of your hands. Yet, we still repent either way. It is the right thing to do. In repenting to the people we have hurt, we demonstrate a love for those we have hurt and care for those we refuse to hurt in the future. The fear of not being forgiven should not prevent us from charging fully forward to better align ourselves to the will of God in our relationships. We trust God in our relationships and pray for those we have hurt in the hope that God is also working in their hearts.
The relationship between two people may never be the same, but God can heal all things. Sin will always get in the way of our relationship with God and others. Yet, we can repent, knowing that God forgives and strengthens us to live according to how God intended us to live.
About The Author
Daniel Burton is the founder of The Gospel Outpost. He is passionate about discipleship and seeing people grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. To find out more about him, check out his Author Page.
