Hope In Exile | Wives and Husbands – 1 Peter 3:1-7
The marriage relationship that seeks to glorify and honor God will stand out from that of the rest of the culture and serve as a witness to the Gospel that elevates everyone to be with God forever.
Peter has just described the relationship that should exist between people in submission to authorities in their life. The faith of the people is not some abstraction of belief but one that has practical implications and applications. Yet, Peter is not just describing a relationship to the outside world but one that includes the way that the faith is applied in the household as well. The churches in exile would have likely been had a prominent population of women and slaves, stemming from the idea that these person would have been more prone to respond to the message of the Gospel stronger. The core of the Gospel is hope amidst difficult situations. In the culture of that day, slaves and women would have been seen as of lesser importance than their male and master counterparts. Yet, the Gospel is not limited to just those not in positions of power, the Gospel is for all, to submit before their ultimate authority; Jesus Christ.
The Gospel even impacts the home with every relationship being impacted by its reach. Wives and husbands express their faith in how they conduct themselves in manners that honor God. Like the relationship to slaves and masters, there is a mutual submission to one another that seeks to glorify and elevate the other. In so doing, God is glorified in the process. Furthermore, the message of Peter had been a counter cultural message that sought to unify the home under the banner of love of Jesus Christ. Wives display their beauty and radiance not by what they wear or how they dress but by their shining character that reflects the goodness and glory of God. Husbands, likewise, should display a willingness to give up everything for the sake of the woman, that in everything, God would be glorified in that as well. The marriage relationship that seeks to glorify and honor God will stand out from that of the rest of the culture and serve as a witness to the Gospel that elevates everyone to be with God forever.
To The Wives
Peter calls the wives to be subject to their husbands. To be clear, this willful subjection is not the enduring of abuse or hostile conditions, but more of a submission to the leadership of the husband of the home. Marriage between a man and a woman is a partnership, not one of a dictator and a servant. Throughout the Bible, marriage is discussed as a mutual submission to one another and encouraging one another to grow according to the manner in which God called people to be. The role of the wife may be different than the role of the husband, with the husband expected to lead and set the tone spiritually, but the role of the wife is no less important.
While Paul throughout scripture teaches on marriage as a source of submission to the husband as the church submits to Jesus Christ, Peter speaks to a slightly different context. The population of the churches throughout Asia Minor largely would have had wives without their husbands attending. With the spread of Christianity throughout the world, wives would have been more present in the church, understanding their worth comes from their relationship with Jesus Christ. Through their willingness to live peaceably with their husbands, they would bear witness to the God of peace. Husbands would be drawn to the transformative influence that set their wives apart from the standard of the day.
Peter discusses the difference between inner and outer beauty and adornment. Some would seek the approve of the culture through the display of looks, aesthetics, or jewelry to display their worth. As followers of Jesus Christ, the people of God understand that their worth comes from their inheritance secured by the work of Jesus Christ. Therefore, our worth and beauty is not from outward appearances but by something deeper. Real, true beauty comes from the heart, refined by the transformative work of Jesus Christ. The witness of the beauty of the wife will always be that she is loved first and foremost by God loved her before the foundation of the world.
- What does Peter seek to accomplish by bringing up Sarah’s submission to Abraham? How does this demonstrate the relationship between God and man?
To The Husbands
Husbands, likewise, the message is one of communicating the peace of God by displaying the effects of a transformed life in your home. There are two aspects that can be focused on in this passage. Yet, Peter’s intention is that both should be held hand in hand. First, the husband should live with the wife in an understanding way. Patience, being a part of the fruit of the Spirit, should be one of the hallmarks of the marriage when the husband is following Christ. The goal is not to put too much on the wife as far as expectations, work, and other abilities, but to understand where they are and what they are capable of performing. Peter encourages a marriage of understanding rather than a continued heaping on of responsibilities. The wife is not just another servant but someone to be cherished in the same manner that Christ cares for the church.
When Peter describes the woman as weaker than the man, it is not intended a slight against a particular gender but rather as an impetus of the role of the man. The husband, if he is following the example of Christ, should care for the wife as one would someone who is weaker. This does not mean lording the strength over the wife, but a willingness of the husband to lay down his life for the sake of the wife. It is the responsibility of the husband to protect and provide for the household so that the wife and the people of the community would see a life transformed by the work of Jesus Christ.
Similar to the wife, the standing of the husband comes from the security of the already accomplished work of Jesus Christ. The validation does not come from the expression of wealth, status or power. Instead, a life properly expressing the role of the man is care for the household even at personal expense. Just as Jesus had been willing to lay down His life out of a deep love for the church, the husband should likewise be willing to abandon any notion of wealth, status, or power for the sake of others. Husbands, through the strength of the Spirit within them, express the rule and reign of God by providing for their households and loving their wives with the depth of their heart. They understand the reality that men and women are different, not instancing before God, but in physiological make up. The understanding husband allows for the wife to be honored as the one who balances the inclinations of the husband in perfect unity and as an expression of the love and grace of God.
- What does Peter mean by “show understanding?” What does it mean to show understanding?
Discussion Questions
- How do the two relationships between husband and wife glorify God? How do they submit to one another in their marriage through the teaching Peter gives to them?
- In what ways was this teaching on marriage counter cultural to the standard of that day? In what way would this separate the followers of Christ from the rest of the world?
- Why should marriage be founded on the eternal promises of Jesus Christ?
- What happens when our relationships are founded on an expression of the faith that Jesus Christ brings for us? Why should we be willing to establish our relationships on the works of Jesus Christ?
- Where do we form our identity? Do we form it according to the standards of the world or our secured inheritance in Jesus Christ? What is the difference?
About The Author
Daniel Burton is the founder of The Gospel Outpost. He is passionate about discipleship and seeing people grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. To find out more about him, check out his Author Page.
